Master The Art: How To Talk to Anyone

Learn how to talk to anybody, anywhere and unlock the compounding advantages of polished social skills as you move into new stages of life.

Understanding how to talk to anyone confidently can boost almost every aspect of your life. From attracting new professional opportunities to discovering your next best friend, learning how to nail conversation is like receiving the keys to a verbal vehicle that can take you anywhere.

That's not to say there's any shortage of conversation blockages floating through modern times. We tend to spend more time socializing online than in person now. Social media has produced a lot of expectations on our identities. During a time when we're finally discovering language for mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, conversational prowess can feel more like a labyrinth.

It's interesting to note that talking to a splay of individuals — whether you're good at it or otherwise — is a pathway to overcome many of these obstacles. Popular 1:1 video chat platforms like Azar are already onto this notion, facilitating fun and breezy chats with new faces from around the world. In this article, we'll explore how to talk to anyone and why you might wish you got started yesterday!

How Conversations Transform Social Barriers

Initially, conversations transform social barriers by providing a space for the individual to work through them. Socializing helps you work on perceived obstacles in a safe space where you can gain confidence and carve an authentic path forward. Your words are your tool of choice.

Everyone experiences social awkwardness to some degree. What matters is how we transform conversation paralysis into personal growth. Here are a few examples:

Unchartered Territory

Ever wondered why so many people make small talk about the weather? It's easy: We're all specialists in “enjoying the sunshine,” and being “disappointed about the rain.” However, if you started chatting to someone about whether the bipolar nature of H2O molecules in the rain is responsible for how life has evolved as we know it, they may understandably freeze up.

Trekking through uncharted conversational territory can be challenging when we feel we lack the knowledge base or experience to contribute to the subject. Entering into these conversations despite this can help make connections and discover what you do have to say.

Fear of Judgement

A Chapman University study found that talking to strangers was categorized among the top 15 fears in the U.S., alongside bio-warfare, identity theft, nuclear attacks, running out of money and clowns. This is completely legit. Our brains have always been biologically programmed to avoid social exile from the local village, since in the past it severely compromised our capacity for survival.

Nowadays, nobody is going to kick you out of town because you said something weird one time five years ago. Entering conversations even though you might fear being judged helps demonstrate that people may not be as judgy as they look (see what we did there?). Psychological science says we are more liked than we know, so give yourself some love and wait to see all the other people willing to do the same!

Difficulty Asking for Support

Asking for a favor can be challenging, especially if you need the help of a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. This can be a great reason to keep in regular contact with your networks, even if it's not daily or weekly.

Seeking help during tough times is a great practice for understanding and representing your needs in social contexts — particularly when it feels tricky.

Trying To Make an Impression

It's natural to want to make a good impression with new people. But trying too hard can appear obvious and detract from the authenticity others hope to experience in you. The good news is that it gets you off the hook for exerting too much effort to make an impression. Take a leap of faith and trust that you are loveable just as you are.

One of the best ways to build confidence is to put yourself out there, start one-to-one video chat conversations with new people on Azar and watch the amazing impressions you can make when you bring your authentic self to the table.

Boost Your Social IQ and Create Opportunities

It's often said that during our 20s we have the most doors open to us. Relationships formed in this time of our lives create a nexus of pathways and skills that can lead to new career and travel opportunities, future romantic prospects, lifelong hobbies and friendships. One advantage of being a strong conversationalist while you're young is boosting your social IQ, which means you can better understand and manage your relationships with others. Others benefits include:

• Exposure to new experiences: The advantages of new experiences are compounding. One meaningful conversation can lead to a new opportunity, opening the doors to an entire realm of people or possibilities — now and in the future. 
• Enhanced relationships: Regular face-to-face interactions with family, friends, colleagues or schoolmates can support mental health by lowering anxiety and depression. Fostering understanding and trust with people from different backgrounds keeps our mental bandwidth malleable and our minds open to new ideas. 
• Increased confidence: Knowing how to lead engaging conversations with anyone is a huge confidence booster, giving you a leg up in professional and social situations. 
• Conflict resolution skills: The better you are at a two-way chat fest, the more likely you are to express your needs authentically, empathize and listen actively. These three skills are fundamental to efficient and mutually beneficial conflict resolution. 

The earlier you command these skills, the more doors open. Azar is a casual and fun 1:1 video chat space to polish your convo game and master the art of talking to anyone, anywhere!

*Models depicted

Lost for Words? Here's How To Find Them

We don't need to make mountains of molehills. Knowing how to talk to anyone can be achieved by anyone. Here is a list of hacks that will help you turn a casual encounter into conversational gold. (P.S. Some of these can even make you more likable.)

Be Interesting by Being Interested

Passionate people turn boring subjects into fascinating conversations. This takes the pressure off you since you don't have to know anything about the new person's interest; you just have to find it.

Ask questions and go down a few rabbit holes to discover what matters to your chat buddy. Then learn why it's important, what got them into it and see where the conversation takes you. Curiosity is your best friend here.

Practice Active Listening

One of the key communication skills conducive to a successful conversation is actively listening to what the other person is saying. Offering your undivided attention and asking clarifying questions about your convo partner's words, perspectives or attitudes builds strong rapport.

Be conscious of the temptation to think about a parallel story or a witty response to share while your companion is still speaking. We all experience this now and again. However, distraction can detract from forming meaningful connections.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions require a more powerful response than a single word, creating a safe space for everyone to express themselves authentically. This technique can even influence people to like you since you'll be perceived as more receptive, validating and caring, so ask plenty of them. Here are a few ideas:

• How did you approach [topic] in the beginning?
• In what ways do you see [topic] changing/staying the same?
• Can you tell me more about your experience of [topic]?
• How have your thoughts about [topic] changed over time?
• Why do you say that?

Find Common Ground

If you want a deeper connection with someone new, gamify the conversation. See how many ways you can find common ground through the experiences or ideas you talk about.

Try not to default to agreement as this can appear disingenuous. Keep your genuine self on your sleeve and search for relatable points of connection between your perspectives and theirs.

When It's Your Turn To Talk

A good chunk of becoming a better communicator is in the delivery. Here are a few techniques to help you master casual conversations:

• Talk with your hands: Show confidence and use your hands as a tool to underpin your words. Hand movement shows you're relaxed and approachable, putting the other person at ease — plus it's entertaining to watch. Play with it and find a style that works for you!
• Make eye contact: Your eyes say a lot. Making casual eye contact curates a deep subliminal rapport and makes the conversation more meaningful. When you’re chatting on-screen, looking directly into the camera achieves a similar effect.
• Check your posture: An open, alert posture shows you’re focused. It can also reflect your self-confidence and general vibes which — alone — can make you a better communicator.
• Breathe deeply: If you experience social anxiety throughout the conversation, check in with your breathing. Nervousness makes us breathe faster and more shallowly, causing us to feel more on edge. Pause and take a deep breath before you speak.
• Smile: A genuine smile is contagious. Show off your confidence and put the other person at ease with a big ol’ grin.
• Mirror body language: Subtly reflecting a new person's body language with your own is a sophisticated technique used to build a connection. It's not about copying them down to the details but matching their energetic tone and style.

Bad Advice for Starting a Great Conversation

We've all had bad advice before. So let's debunk some common misconceptions about talking to anyone.

Myth # 1: You Already Have Friends, so You Don't Need More

This idea comes from a limiting mindset. We're on a journey of constant evolution throughout our lives and it's healthy to connect with new people as we grow into different stages of life.

Myth #2: You Should Act Naturally

Forcing yourself to act naturally can create pressure, making you feel more unnatural. Instead, focus on acting authentically and in alignment with your inner self.

Myth #3: Reading About Conversations Will Instantly Improve Them

While reading about successful communication gives you the tools to take on a casual conversation with anybody, it takes action to integrate the skills you learn. The next step is to find a space like Azar where you can meet plenty of new people and start practicing!

Myth #4: Follow the Script

There is no single way a conversation should unfold. And there's no need to over-intellectualize friendship-building. Be yourself and let it flow naturally.

Myth #5: Avoid Awkward Moments

Silence can lead some to feel social discomfort. But it's a healthy part of any conversation! Provided you both feel accommodated and respected, use silence as leverage to reflect or pivot the conversation.

The Paradox: Learning To Let Go

Socially prescribed perfectionism has increased among younger demographics over the past few decades. The concept is counterproductive since it inhibits our ability to connect genuinely.
While learning how to talk to anyone has myriad long-term benefits, not every conversation will — or needs to — make or break a deal. Realistically, the majority of our casual conversations won't.

So, even if there is no cosmic reward for the legendary video chat you had on Azar yesterday, you can still take away the confidence, skill development and mental health boost derived from a light and natural convo online.

If a conversation doesn't go as expected, embrace letting it go. If someone makes you uncomfortable, release it and excuse yourself. This communication skill keeps your hands on the wheel, choosing when and how you communicate.

Open Up to New Conversations

Understanding how to talk to anyone is like a gift that keeps giving. The positive impacts of great communication skills are compounding, so it's worthwhile to nail them while you're young.

Now you have the toolkit, the next step is to take action and get practicing with as many new people as possible! Azar, a popular online one-to-one video chat platform, is the ideal space where you can instantly connect with new people from around the world.

Put your learning to the test in a community where you can feel comfortable and more connected — you may even pick up some new ideas while you're there.

Start chatting on Azar today!