How To Start a Conversation Like You Mean It

Looking for fresh ways to start a new conversation and a new tribe to chat with? Discover the ins and outs of striking up a magical convo here. 

There are still a few dinosaurs out there who learned how to start a conversation in the ‘90s… Wrapping their fingers around the loops of the landline cord, making small talk with friends’ moms on a Tuesday after school while they waited for Joey, Britney or Jessica to come to the phone.

And now? Soft as the touch of a finger on glass, we can be instantly transported to new places, new faces and new conversations glimmering back at us from our phone screens. With so many options, it’s never been easier — or harder — to forge connections.

The way we socialize today is unprecedented in human history. Technology, initially designed to facilitate human advancement, is now snatching at our attention and hindering genuine relationships. By bringing connections back to the grassroots, we can start using tech as a tool rather than an obstacle to connection. 

Let’s take a look at how to start a conversation online to create meaningful, lasting connections. 

The Primer: What To Know About Chatting Online 

The wheels of engagement with technology — and people — in the twenty-first century are spinning fast. The days of good old phone calls have given way to social media, online video chats and text conversation. And this has had a measurable impact. Below is an honest glance at how we connect today and what we can learn from it. 

 

What's The Connection Between Tech and Mental Health?

Most of us know somebody who experiences social anxiety or depression. Recent studies have shown a link between technology use and mental health. Posting on social media, for example, feeds into the instant gratification loop. Many spend hours online searching for meaningful connections to meet our social needs. 

Yet, these trends point to an issue in how and why we use technology, rather than the technology itself. With the right tools and approach, we can shift the focus and build prosperous, long-lasting bonds online, creating meaning and experiences with our new friendships.

How To Approach Healthy Social Connections Online

When a relationship is healthy, both parties feel free to express themselves authentically in a space of mutual trust and respect. Here are a few key ways to create balanced connections:

Show Empathy

Empathy in good conversation is akin to sugar in a cake: It should be the main ingredient. Empathy happens when you put yourself in someone else's shoes and relate to their experiences and feelings. This skill builds trust, encouraging kinship beyond the face value. 

Practice empathy by actively listening to your conversation partner. Stay curious about their perspectives by asking questions. Finally, focus on similarities rather than differences. 

Give and Receive Value

How you offer value in conversation is what makes you, as a friend, special. Whether you're offering helpful advice, making your friend laugh or working on a project together, the idea is about supporting others to lead happy and fulfilling lives.

If you're not sure how you can offer value, trust us, you have plenty of ways! A good place to start is connecting with groups of people with similar interests so you can share your knowledge and learn from one another. 

Choose Quality Over Quantity 

Ever met somebody with 1000+ friends on social media, who also experiences loneliness from time to time? It's basically everyone these days. On social media platforms, we tend to overrate connection volume while downplaying the social value we gain from each friend or follower. 

Opt for platforms that foster genuine connections, like Azar, and focus your energy on building a few truly valuable relationships rather than merely attracting followers.

Where To Find Meaningful Friendships

Online worlds offer plenty of different options for building new friendships. Here are a few to keep up your sleeve. 

• Online Video Platforms: Video chat platforms are taking the concept of online friendships by storm. Popular providers like Azar encourage authenticity and genuine connection with new friends around the world. 
• Online Games: There are plenty of ways to make gaming friends online and conquer new worlds together. Gaming has the preset advantage of collaboration, a key foundation for mutually valuable friendships. 
• Group Meets: If you're the extroverted type, you may be up for online groups where you can bond with a range of personalities. Online group forums showcase some of the distinct advantages of making friends in the digital era; you're not just participating in meaningful conversations, but you're becoming part of a community. 

Now that we've covered the basics of online connections, let's look at how to leverage tech for gains beyond the screen. 

Highlights: Why Should I Start A Conversation?

There are plenty of proven benefits to healthy socialization. Notably, positive and regular social interaction fortifies mental health and keeps your mind sharp. So, what other benefits can a great conversation lead to? 

Increased Confidence

Step aside, small talk. Igniting an interesting conversation with new people works wonders for self-confidence and creativity. For one, it exposes you to a variety of social situations with a range of characters, upskilling you to handle everyday interactions with conviction. Second, new minds bring exposure to new ideas, enhancing your creativity and perspective. 

Expanded Network

Being a pro at the conversation starter is a communication skill that pays dividends in social and professional spheres. Understanding how to start a conversation with the right person at a networking event can lead to career development and opportunities for success. 

Of course, it’s not all about work; maybe your next conversation partner on Azar may well become your new lifelong bestie. 

Lower Stress Levels

While increased use of tech in general can trigger social anxiety, actual socializing has been shown to improve mental health by decreasing stress and reducing the symptoms of depression and anxiety. By using great conversation starters to foster connections on supportive platforms like Azar, there's less need to spend hours fulfilling social needs through lower-contact alternatives. 

Kick Off a Conversation With Anyone, Anywhere

Let's take a moment to recap: We understand that how we interact today has shifted from the historical norm. But what hasn't shifted is the merit of creating positive social bonds. Now it’s time to dive into how to get a convo kicking, no matter who you're chatting with. Ready to rule the world through the best conversations ever? 

What To Talk About

Even if a conversation starts well, there's nothing worse than when it devolves into the dreaded “What u wanna talk about?”, “Dunno, u?”. For everybody's sake, move into a conversation with at least a few ideas to discuss with your conversation partner. 

Not sure what to talk about? Start with a few key concepts and experiences that have emerged from your week or have a few questions at hand. 

Icebreaker Questions

Breaking the ice can feel like scaling Mount Everest when you're new to initiating conversations. But don't worry — icebreaker questions are here to save you the hike. Asking about the other person's thoughts and ideas in a lighthearted, lowkey way creates a relaxed atmosphere for both of you to express yourselves authentically. 

Chat Like Gen Z

It doesn't matter where you're meeting friends online. You're going to come across people from different generations. You've probably already heard a fair amount of Gen Z slang drifting around on the socials. There's no better way to connect with young people than learning how to speak like Gen Z. 

Engaging Conversation With Girls

Contrary to popular myth, talking to girls can be really fun — and easy! While it's impossible to place all girls into a box, women generally tend to be highly perceptive. Try starting a conversation with a girl by asking her thoughts or ideas about a recent event, subject or concept. 

Striking Up Conversations With a Guy

Like girls, guys cannot be defined by one singular attribute. However, broadly speaking, guys gravitate toward feeling helpful or needed. Great conversation starters for guys include asking for tips like music recommendations or great cuisines from around the world. 

Casual Conversations Starters For Anyone

Of course, we're not always seeking out particular demographics. If you're looking for a casual conversation with anyone about anything, fire an open-ended question and see where they lead the chat. It can pay to answer the question yourself first to create a relaxed vibe and leverage the opportunity for mutual connection. Extra points if you ask a follow-up question or two. 

Fun Topics To Talk About

Let's face it: Many of us live chaotic lives, churning through the daily grind. Leading with a witty conversation opener like a joke or having a fun conversation topic up your sleeve may be the light someone else needs in their day. Start a conversation about hidden talents, superheroes or ridiculous adverts you've seen recently to break away from the norm and share some laughs. 

Layering: How To Take Friendships Deeper

You're just about level pro at conversation starters now. While getting a conversation going is one thing, keeping it afloat is a different ball game. Building sustainable bonds is an art in itself, and depending on the relationship's intricacies, what works for one friend may not work as effectively with another. 

Below you'll find some insights to keep engaging conversation flowing once you've got a new friend’s attention with an inspiring conversation starter.

• Ask Open Questions: Open-ended questions encourage more than a single-word response. Instead of having a right or wrong answer, they create an opportunity for a person to express themselves authentically. Practice active listening as your conversation partner responds.
• Be Vulnerable: Showing vulnerability is one of the foundational social skills catalyzing meaningful conversation. It builds a safe space to explore common ground and connect on a human level. 
• Explore Deep Topics: Talking about philosophy, beliefs and the cosmos may not be the conversation opener for every social situation, but some people totally vibe with it! Exploring purpose, aspirations, personal shifts and dreams is a great way to move a relationship deeper and inspire connection. 
• Offer a Helping Hand: Bring value into your new friendship by offering to help with a challenge. Whether you're providing advice, demonstrating a special skill or working on a project together, mutual support and collaboration stoke the fires of a lasting friendship.
• Show Up Consistently: When engaging with people online, showing up is key. You don't necessarily need to talk every day, but disappearing for a few months unannounced can appear flaky. Be clear about your availability and respectful of the other person's. 

Connect With Yourself To Connect With Others

While building social connections is exciting and ultimately good for us, it's necessary to understand when to draw the lines to keep ourselves and others safe. In the spirit of building a respectful and empowered community, let's discuss some of the challenges and solutions to starting a conversation online. 

Social Burnout

Social interaction can fuel extroverts, whereas equal amounts of social attention can feel draining to introverts. It doesn't matter which way you're inclined; social exhaustion can happen to anyone. 

Early signs include low energy and motivation, feeling highly reactive and experiencing disrupted sleep. Progressed signs of social burnout cover detachment, withdrawal and feelings of helplessness. 

When Not To Start (or Continue) a Conversation

Meaningful conversations that lead to meaningful connections are great for the mind and overall sense of happiness. But what if you feel uncomfortable? 

When someone makes inappropriate or disrespectful comments, your gut instincts are flagging red, you feel uncomfortable for any reason or your mind needs rest, leave the conversation. You don't owe an explanation. Simply state that you wish to go, and make a short and sweet exit. 

Social Resilience

Sometimes things don't go as planned. Perhaps you feel like you're vibing with somebody only to learn they don't feel the same way. Maybe you face outright rejection. Part of building social resilience is defining whether this kind of feedback is constructive and objective, or hurtful and subjective. As a litmus test, gauge whether the person is genuine and respectful in their delivery. 

Overall, rejection is an inherent part of building new connections. When we face it, we immediately become more skilled at managing it. Besides, plenty of new friends are waiting to meet you in Azar.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are not only conducive to online connections but all connections in life. Communicate them early so that others know how you expect to be treated. 

Remember, boundary setting should not be used to weaponize somebody's behavior or tell them what to do, but rather address how you will respond if their behavior makes you uncomfortable. Part of setting healthy boundaries is to respect those of others and ask for — or provide — clarification when needed. 

Bring Your Bonds Beyond the Screen

Knowing the ins and outs of how to start a conversation is the first step to welcoming meaningful relationships in your life. Technology constantly delivers new and innovative ways to connect. With a healthy approach, we can use tech as a tool to start a conversation and forge deeper, more fruitful connections. 

Azar is a popular online video chat platform designed to transcend geographic barriers and link people from across the globe. With instant video calls in real-time and no-delay connections, you can start a video chat as soon as you sign up. 

Features like Pick & Match allow you to choose conversation partners based on their profiles. Plus, Azar’s algorithms enhance matching capabilities and on-device security detection, so there's no better place to practice your convo starters. Join a community of like-minded friends on Azar, and

start chatting now!

*Hyperconnect LLC does not operate these services. Azar is a separate service.